Spotting and Understanding Twos

Belief 

Twos believe that others need them and are less aware of their own neediness.  They feel that it is important to be helpful and loving, but get trapped in a cycle of needing evidence of love and appreciation back from others. They can find freedom when they let go of this. They can create the reality that they are already fully loved and appreciated by the universe and be relieved from the suffering of needing proof.

Appearances

Twos are often smiley, especially when meeting new people. They use eye contact and physical contact as ways to demonstrate that they are lovely and attentive person. They are often colourfully dressed, and they will be especially aware of wearing significant items, such as a friendship bracelet or a tie they were given. They can also maintain a boyishness or girlishness into adulthood. When Twos (especially female) dress up, they can display a telling mix of innocence and sexuality. 

Friends, Family and Other Relationships 

Friends and family are very important to Twos and they make sure you know about it with little gifts, emails or phone calls. There usually comes a point where they feel that their efforts are not being fully appreciated and the thoughtfulness isn’t being returned. Sooner or later, the other person will know about this. In relationships, they can be demanding of the other person’s time  and attention, and sometimes they can be naïve/innocent regarding sex.

Difficulties 

Twos can struggle to see their own motivations. They may feel that they have only ever been loving and helpful to others and have no idea why they are sometimes unappreciated or disliked. This can lead to accusing others of not caring, which causes people to distance themselves further, a very distressing turn of events for a Two.

As Children 

Like Ones, Twos are ‘good’ little boys and girls. As a teacher, I find Two children very easy to spot as they often enthusiastically help with chores such as handing out of books. They love to get involved with grown-up activities such as cooking and tidying, especially if they get verbal appreciation for it.

At Work  

Twos are often noticeable because they can go out of their way to help you. Not just regarding work issues but if they hear you mention you like a particular artist, for example, they might turn up the next day with an article about the artist they helpfully found for you.

Talking Style 

Twos talk to you attentively, showing you that they are interested with eye contact and verbal encouragement. They like to give and receive compliments and love to give helpful advice. When upset, however, Twos can speak with hysterical fury. 

NB For all these descriptions, you will notice that they seem a bit negative. This is I wanted to show the ego clearly and vividly, warts and all, as the cause of suffering. Of course, there are plenty of happy and healthy people freeing themselves from the ego. I know lovely, healthy people of each enneagram fixation.  Click here for examples of very healthy types. 
Click here if you are a Two and you want guidance towards more happiness.