Spotting and understanding Ones

Belief

Ones believe the world is imperfect and it is up to them to change things. They can find freedom when they let go of this. They can create the reality that things are already perfect and be relieved from the burden of trying to change things. 

Appearances 

Ones are usually neat and clean, and their clothes are tasteful, not vulgar. They have high standards and wouldn’t dream of arriving somewhere looking scruffy. Their haircuts have a tendency to be severe, and controlled. As Eli Jaxon-Bear writes, ‘They have hairdos that look as if they would break if they fell down.’ Their posture is usually remarkably good and they can habitually have a serious expression on their face, as if ready to criticise.  

Friends, Family and Other Relationships 

Ones have high standards, and will work hard to meet them. In this way they are dutiful and honest. However, when others don’t meet these standards it can create tension. For example, crumbs may not bother some people, but I have known a One go straight out to get the Dustbuster if someone drops crumbs on their carpet. If you are friends, related to or in love with a One you will be aware of how difficult it can be to please them, and keep them happy. Of course, it's not your job to  - happiness lies in everyone's own hands. 

Difficulties 

A lot of anger can be stored in a One, towards both themselves and those around them, for not meeting the high standards they expect. They can be obsessive compulsive, especially regarding cleanliness, and as a result you can often spot a one because their homes are like showhomes and their gardens are usually immaculate. They can also find it hard to relax and have fun, even when everyone else is letting go. Having said that, when Ones do let go, and alcohol is involved, I have seen them get very wild and let it all out (a girl I knew did this about once a year).

As Children 

One children are ‘good’. Not in the sense that they are always trying to help you, but just that they are trying their best to be as good as they can. They will usually be conscientious at school and will voice their opinions at home about what they think is right and wrong.  
In the video below, Jack Lemmon as Felix is the One.

At Work 

Ones usually work hard, but can struggle if they find that the ethics of the workplace conflict with their own. They like attention to detail and can be difficult to work with as others might feel they are not meeting their standards. They are not necessarily lots of fun to work with. 

Talking Style  

Ones often have tense voices, as if there is some sort of upset or anger underneath that they are suppressing. 

NB For all these descriptions, you will notice that they seem a bit negative. This is I wanted to show the ego clearly and vividly, warts and all, as the cause of suffering. Of course, there are plenty of happy and healthy people freeing themselves from the ego. I know lovely, healthy people of each enneagram fixation. Click here for examples of healthy types.
Click here if you are a One and you want guidance towards more happiness.