Spotting and Understanding Threes
Belief
Threes believe that they need to be applauded and successful. They work hard to maintain an image of efficiency and confidence to impress others. They can find freedom when they perceive that true success is accepting and enjoying the present moment, and stop trying to prove themselves. What a relief it is then to be satisfied with what is.
Appearances
Threes usually dress well, dress to impress. They are the type who would be most aware that certain labels and brands project an image of success more than others, but they wouldn’t normally be over the top about flaunting it. Whether they have been blessed with traditional good looks or not, they will work hard to make the best of themselves. So going to the gym, getting pricey haircuts and subtly posing while going about their everyday business are all second nature to a Three.
Friends, Family and Other Relationships
Threes can be lovely, loyal friends and relatives, but their career and image can seem like their overriding priority and the place they direct the majority of their energy. They may subconsciously choose partners and friends who will either aid them in their careers or be part of the successful image they want to project.
As Children
Three children like to succeed and be liked, so high achieving and popular girls and boys are often threes. I’ve noticed that Threes are not always very well behaved, as often it is popularity and being the 'star' of the classroom which is the main concern, not just impressing teachers.
Difficulties
Threes may not notice they are having difficulties, because they are spending so much of their time focusing on their successful that they don’t have time to see what is wrong. A growing sense of emptiness comes when, even after achieving goals that they had set themselves, they still haven’t achieved the sense of satisfaction that only accepting the present moment could give them.
Work
Threes are efficient and image conscious, making them excel in interviews and at rising up the career ladders. They work hard to project the publicity-friendly, acceptable face of the company they are working for, so are not the archetypal aggressive boss. Threes are known to cut corners if they can get away with it (that those higher than them in hierarchy won’t notice) which can be noticeable by co-workers on the same tier.
Talking Style
Threes can have a fixed stare when they are talking to you which comes across as fake, as if they are pretending they are listening to you but are still much more interested in how they are coming across. They may name-drop, and casually mention new projects or acquisitions to show how successful they have become.
NB For all these descriptions, you will notice that they seem a bit negative. This is I wanted to show the ego clearly and vividly, warts and all, as the cause of suffering. Of course, there are plenty of happy and healthy people freeing themselves from the ego. I know lovely, healthy people of each enneagram fixation. Click here for examples of very healthy types.
Click here if you are a Three and you want guidance towards more happiness.
NB For all these descriptions, you will notice that they seem a bit negative. This is I wanted to show the ego clearly and vividly, warts and all, as the cause of suffering. Of course, there are plenty of happy and healthy people freeing themselves from the ego. I know lovely, healthy people of each enneagram fixation. Click here for examples of very healthy types.
Click here if you are a Three and you want guidance towards more happiness.
