Spotting and Understanding Fives

Belief

Fives believe they are vulnerable and that understanding it is important so they gather knowledge throughout their lives. They find relief when they accept that there are things that are ultimately incomprehensible to the human mind, such as the universe and their true selves. They can develop faith that it is a benevolent universe and everything is as it should be. 

Appearances 

Fives can seem like minds which happen to have bodies carrying them around, meaning they can walk around with their head leading the way, sometimes giving a stooped posture. They very often wear glasses, which makes me wonder if their fixation to understand the world around them has led them to strain and distort their vision at an early age. Their clothes and hairstyle can be noticeably eccentric as they like to feel separate from society’s conventions and enjoy showing they don’t need to fit in. 

Friends, Family and Relationships

Although Fives can be reserved and distant around strangers, they are known to closer acquaintances for being vocal about their interests and opinions, sometimes talking at great lengths about subjects that others are losing interest in. This can make others reluctant to spend lots of time with a Five. They can be disdainful of others who hold beliefs that differ from their own. Because they hold things at a distance, it can take time to express deeper feelings about someone they love. It can seem like they don’t really know how to express themselves (even with someone they have been in a relationship with for years) .

Difficulties

Fives are very sensitive and emotional people, but they have distanced themselves so much from others, they can feel at a loss for how to act in the world. This can manifest in social awkwardness and physical withdrawing from the world, staying at home and thinking about things. They often see that the society they live in is flawed and don’t know how to find their place in it... the safest way being to surround themselves with the things they are interested in (computers, literature, moth collections…).

As Children 

From an early age, Fives show the obsessive need to understand and be experts in certain fields, so they are often quiet, thoughtful children who are avid readers, coin collectors, computer game players… whatever arouses their interest. 

At Work

If Fives find a job that is aligned with their interests then they can really excel because it is second nature to them to strive to be the best in their field. A major problem that can arise is that Fives feel distant from society’s conventions and think it would be mad to try and  conform to expectations. Therefore, some fives can spend long periods of time not working… unemployed, travelling, staying on people’s sofas. 

Talking Style 

Fives may be distant but once they get going on a subject they know a lot about, it can seem like there is no stopping them. In conversation, Fives like to demonstrate their superior knowledge and use a wider vocabulary than most.  

NB For all these descriptions, you will notice that they seem a bit negative. This is I wanted to show the ego clearly and vividly, warts and all, as the cause of suffering. Of course, there are plenty of happy and healthy people freeing themselves from the ego. I know lovely, healthy people of each enneagram fixation.  Click here for examples of very healthy types.  
Click here if you are a Five and you want guidance towards more happiness.