Spotting and Understanding Nines

Belief

Nines believe that they have uncontrollable impulses and the best thing to do is to bury them and let others take control. This makes them seem very easy-going and friendly on the surface but means they have lost contact with their total presence. Nines can be free when they believe that everything within them is acceptable and nothing has to be suppressed.  

Appearances 

Because Nines have suppressed anger they initially appear to have a soft, easy-going and relaxed appearance. They are not likely to make bold statements with their outfits as they prefer to blend in. My dad doesn’t even like to wear anything with a visible brand name on it. They can seem a little vacant at times as if they are running out of thoughts. 

Friends, Family and Other Relationships 

Nines are usually very easy to get on with, seeming just genuine and lovely with not a bad word to say about anyone. They often go along with whatever their friends, family or lover wants to do quite happily but usually there is some passive-aggressiveness present. They can have occasional outbursts of anger or seethe slowly for long periods. Normally however, their way of dealing with conflict is to bury their head in the sand and go vacant, leaving the room or just ignoring the person. They can be secretive in relationships too, continuing to do things that they know their partner would not want but doing it in secret. 

Difficulties

Nines are subconsciously scared of the forces within them such as fury so they numb themselves by going vacant and daydreaming. However TV, food, alcohol and some drugs such as cannabis can have a similar effect so Nines can become addicts. 

As Children 

As children, Nines are friendly and calm. However, because they often go along with what their friends, they can seem naughty because they are they ones getting caught for joining in with what their quicker friends have managed to escape the blame for.

At Work

Nines work quite well, wanting to keep the peace and go with the flow of the organisation’s expectations. They can find it hard to decide what it is they want to do, and may end up stumbling into a job and staying there for the rest of their working life.

Talking Style

Like their appearance, a Nine’s voice is soft, relaxed and friendly though they will pick up the qualities of those they are with too, so if they are with giggly, silly friends they will sound giggly and silly too, for example.

NB For all these descriptions, you will notice that they seem a bit negative. This is I wanted to show the ego clearly and vividly, warts and all, as the cause of suffering. Of course, there are plenty of happy and healthy people freeing themselves from the ego. I know lovely, healthy people of each enneagram fixation.  Click here for examples of very healthy types.  
Click here if you are a Nine and you want guidance towards more happiness.